When trying to do more accomplishes less

First let me say that I have nothing against Citizens Bank, its employees or the people who create their marketing and advertising. But the postcard effort I received from them the other day leaves me scratching my head.

It starts off well enough with a headline on the address side that reads, “Open your first FREE Green Checking® or a qualifying personal checking account and get up to $220 CASH”

Then, however, instead of expanding on the headline or directing readers to the other side to learn more, they introduce a second offer. This one is for a “Catalog of Fall Offers,” whatever that is. There’s no explanation as to what type of offers they are or if they relate in any way to the checking account.

But wait, it gets even more jumbled on the other side. The headline again talks to the $220 checking offer, and there’s a chart that breaks down all the individual details. But there’s also a credit card offer, complete with a picture of the card and a separate offer and call to action. That makes three offers in a total space of just 8" x 6"!

Since neither this credit card image nor the one of the catalog on the address side have anything to do with the headlines, I was left a little confused. And being in the business of advertising, I pay closer attention to these things than the average consumer. If the marketers can’t make up their minds and decide what they want consumers to do, how can they expect consumers to?

Sadly this isn’t that uncommon. A lot of people think they’ll increase response when they add offers by attracting people who aren’t interested in the main offer. But that’s not the way it works. Direct mail is a targeted, on-on-one medium, and the scatter shot approach only weakens the message to those best prospects. If you don’t have confidence in your offer to stand on its own, then it shouldn’t use that offer at all.

My advice to Citizens Bank: Pick one offer and really sell it. Use the space from the secondary offers to tout the benefits of Green Checking. Come to think of it, it wouldn’t be a bad idea to explain what the heck Green Checking is in the first place and how it differs from a regular checking account. You’ll get a better response.

If you don’t believe me, or need proof, test it.